PAY DAY!!!!!!! get me sympathy money off the government for not having a 
job, been gettin it for bout 8 weeks now, get €125 a week, which is next to
nothing, but better then nothing. Dont feel guilty bout claiming it though 
cos i worked for the past 3 years and paid tax like everyone else and im "genuinely
seeking work". got a letter off a dept. store in dublin offering me a job
(last week) so i wrote back and said id take it. still waiting on a response
(why cant these people use phone or internet to communicate, baffles me)
anyhow hopefully ill hear back from them soon telling me when to start.

 went into town today with my mam, i cant drive so when she goes in i get 
a lift off her. went into 2 banks and applied for a loan of 5k (one of em 
has to cover me)to cover me for college and accomodation, when i start back 
in sept. (if i dont get it i guess im not going back to college).  i 
dont wanna ask my dad for it cos hes paid enough for me, and im still on bad
terms with him cos he found out i stole some perscriptions from the doctor 
and was writing em out for myself. so i totally cut him off from my life today,
got a new sim card for my phone (new phone number) wont disclose it to him
or any of my family on his side (ALL boring 9-5 introverts anyhow, none of
em have any social life/friends, even my cousins all in their late 20's still
single and living at home. will never let that happen to me, rather be living
in a hostel living on beans and stale bread then at home by that age.

 im sure to get the loan anyhow cos me mam is going guarantor on it. its
5k over 3 years which works out at 42.62 a week (which i can afford) i didnt 
mention my credit card debit to em though and me mam didnt mention her loans 
to the credit union either. 2k of that i owe to my dad so ill pay him off 
if i get it provided he doesent do nething else to upset me. (he was talking 
to my mam on the phone and described my sexuality to her as "a problem he 
was ashamed of" my parents dont talk but after i moved out he thought hed 
call her up and stir things up - me mam doesent give a fuck though, shes dead
sound, loves me bf to bits!

 anyhow im secretly hopin that he does call up again bitchin me cos im just 
lookin for an excuse to get my own back, i just dont think hes crossed the 
line yet. and with the 2k ill buy a camera phone and use the rest twords a
holiday.

 anyhow, went into a shop today in town and was looking at clothes, the fucking 
security guard kept following me round. (see not many people have spikes coming
out of their faces down here and bleached hair so obvioulsy that must make
me a fucking shoplifter cos i do. (country peoples mentality - the old ones
anyhow) i would of fucked down what i was gonna buy and walked out of the
shop but i had a DEADLY jeans in my hand and it was only €20 euro so i guess
my principals lost to fashion there.

 got my watch fixed and bought a new sim card, pack of smokes and a magazine. 
i spent €55 today. had 2 hotdogs for dinner (the ones u heat in the microwave) 
and a cup of slim fast (just started it today, so i better fucking see the 
weight come off in a week) kinda hoping the stories are true and it does put
maggotts and worms in ya, would be a really easy way to loose weight if i
had a few worms in my belly eating my fat hehe (the funny thing is im deadly
serious)

 also ordered a headset for my current phone (motorola v66i) that will let 
me listen to the radio. the woman in the shop said she would find out the 
price and call me up and let me know how much it is. hopefully not more then 
€40 or else i cant afford it. wont have that for a week at least anyway cos 
i cant afford to get it this week.

 got home from town at bout 6, watched some tv and then went on computer. 
i really need to cut down on my computer use!

 gonna go now and try find some fancy stuff to make this page seem more interesting.